RED TOP REVIEWBy Fiona Leith All hail the chiefCeilidhs can get a bit raucous but they rar
ely end in bloodshed – which is why the drunken fracas at the 130-year-old Skye Ball last September is still making headlines, reports today's Daily Record. Unemployed fisherman Angus MacQueen, 34, turned up at the toffs' all-night tartan ball at 4am claiming to be a clan chief and then proceeded to headbutt the real laird's son. But Sheriff Desmond McCafferty at Portree Sheriff Court decided to drop charges of racially aggravated assault – MacQueen having shouted at guests that they were all "f***ing English" – and merely charged the wannabe laird with assault.
Click here to read the full story Lorraine Kelly swoons over penguin Lorraine Kelly spills the beans in today's Scottish Sun, in the first extract from her forthcoming autobiography, Between You and Me. Kelly, who spends her mornings advising the nation on what to wear, eat and do, claims that the most romantic thing her husband of 16 years has ever done is buy her a replica of the penguin statues at Discovery Point in Dundee. The swooning Kelly admits: "The penguin is in my garden now, and in the summer we give him oversized comedy glasses, a hula skirt and a garland of flowers. In the winter he wears a scarf covered in snowmen. I think that's real romance."
Click here to read the full story Hoy makes bike flyAs all the papers celebrate our athletes' haul of medals in Beijing, Scotland's Chris Hoy knows his outstanding achievements make up a big part of the British team's success. But what motivated the 32-year-old from Edinburgh to take up the sport in the first place? According to the Mirror, he has revealed that "he was inspired to become an Olympic legend after watching ET. The young Hoy dreamed of being a cyclist after seeing the friendly alien in Steven Spielberg's film use its powers to make a bike fly."
Click here to read the sull story SPORT
Chinese hero falls at the first hurdleBy Graham Bean He's a national hero in China where his profile is as high as David Beckham's in the UK. So the withdrawal this morning of defending 110m hurdles champion Liu Xiang from the Olympics has left the hosts reeling.
A clear favourite to win another gold, Liu's withdrawal through injury was greeted with disbelief at the Bird's Nest in Beijing. Many in the 91,000-capacity stadium simply got up and walked out after Liu pulled up in the opening round following a false start.
His coaches said he was suffering from two injuries, one to his foot and one to his leg. Rumours circulating before the race had suggested Liu was toiling and his frustration was clear when he kicked a padded wall on the way into the stadium.
No such problems for the British team, who maintained the momentum of a glorious weekend to take silver in the sailing 470 medal race through Nick Rogers and Joe Glanfield.
TELEVISION By Fiona Leith Return of the Hairy Bikers Dave Myers and Simon King could be any old grizzly pair having a pint down your local, which is why they've been such a hit as the Hairy Bikers – or, as their new show would have it, the Hairy Bakers. This time the lads tackle baking – not Delia-style fairy cakes, of course, but man-size portions of naan bread, cooked by the side of a lake, to accompany a curry, of course.
The Hairy Bakers, BBC2, 8.30pm
Unforgettable memory man Dustin Hoffman's performance in Rain Man won him an Oscar, but tonight's Superhuman introduces us to the man who inspired the autistic-savant character he so brilliantly played in the 1988 film – a man who has memorised the contents of more than 12,000 books.
Superhuman: Genius, ITV1, 9pm
One prize you don't want to win The National Health Service comes under close scrutiny tonight in the latest Panorama investigation. The NHS Postcode Lottery: It Could Be You tackles the subject of Alzheimer's, talking to best-selling author Terry Pratchett, who earlier this year announced he was suffering from the condition, and various other patients to find out whether where you live really dictates the care you receive.
Panorama, BBC1, 8.30pm
FASHION
By Kayt Turner
Pictured (left to right): Eva Longoria: Judy Reyes; Paula Abdul
She's got the pose down pat – now all Eva Longoria needs to do is drop about a stone and a half and up those heels by at least four inches and she will indeed look like her idol, Vicky B.
Scrubbed UpWe're all for modesty, and while it's admirable that Judy Reyes realised in time that her dress was see-thru, we think the Scrubs star could have done a bit more than glue strips of crepe paper to her dress.
Flouncing OutNot content with one red-carpet dress, Paul Abdul has decided to wrap a second one around her ankles. It's surely the only explanation for that amount of material.
BUSINESSBy Rosemary GallagherRecession looms for early 2009THE UK faces recession in the next six to nine months, particularly if interest rates are not cut, the British Chambers of Commerce has warned. In its latest forecast it talked of a "difficult and risky climate". UK growth will be slightly negative or zero in the next two or three quarters. While a major recession is unlikely, the BCC says the outlook will be worse if interest rates are not reduced soon.
It predicts UK unemployment will rise by between 250,000 and 300,000 in the next 18 months to two years. That could take the jobless total to more than two million for the first time since Labour came to power in 1997.
The full article contains 982 words and appears in Scotland On Sunday newspaper.
