Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)
The stand-out track from the outstanding album A Christmas Gift For You (aka the Phil Spector Christmas Album), this was the only original song on the LP. Originally meant for co-writer/producer Phil Spector's wife
Ronnie, this sub-three-minute, bauble-breaking Wall of Sound epic was brought to life by the earth-shattering vox humana of Darlene Love. Despite the celebratory sounds produced, the song's themes relate to loneliness, nostalgia and being homesick. Many have covered it, including U2, KT Tunstall and Mariah Carey, but none has got anywhere near the intensity and sheer brilliance of arguably the greatest Christmas song ever. Christmas doesn't really begin until you've heard this.
2 THE WAITRESSES
Christmas Wrapping
The thinking man's Bangles tell a tale of an almost-lost love that climaxes in "a very happy ending" while searching for cranberry sauce on Christmas Eve. Ironically, the Waitresses were the work of a man, Chris Butler, who only formed the band when record companies expressed an interest in some of his songs. Sadly the song has outlasted the band and lead "wrapper" Patsy Donahue. It even withstood a horrendous re-working by the Spice Girls, although Butler is no doubt grateful for the royalties.
3 ALMA COGAN
Never Do A Tango With An Eskimo
The multi-talented Alma was the Cilla Black of her day. The girl with the laugh in her voice released more than 70 singles, including a number of novelty records. Unlike many Christmas songs from the 40s and 50s, Never Do a Tango stood the test of time and is guaranteed to get gran tapping her toes while she's knocking back the eggnog.
4 EELS
Everything's Gonna Be Cool This Christmas
Altogether now: "Baby Jesus, born to rock!"
5 FOUNTAINS OF WAYNE
I Want an Alien for Christmas/The Man in the Santa Suit
Either side of this double A-side by US power-poppers Fountains of Wayne could get in my Top Five, so I've sneaked both in.
• Paul Johnston co-founded website
www.jocknroll.co.uk