EVERY audience is different. Some nights you can feel blankets of laughter coming from middle rows; behind them, heads bob with the fatigue from the stuffy heat.
But what's really off-putting are the people you can see in the front row - for instance, as happened to me recently, a group of young Australian men, glaring at me as if they'd rather be watching Jim Jeffries.
So, to liven up their experience, I
thought I'd show them my bare arse.
Now, it's not as bad as you may think. It wasn't, "Oh, the audience is a bit dull tonight might as well get my kit off."
It's all in context. I was doing this scene where one of the characters can't find a place to relieve himself and so he drops his shorts near someone in the front row. Not in their face, but near.
I've done this before and the Scots just normally put up with my naked posterior like bad weather. And it gets laughs. But not this guy. I felt a hard kick to my bum which sent me flying to the back of the stage. Well, he might have had just cause. Previously I'd humped his girlfriend as a monkey (again all in context).
While such an act of violence could have crushed my ego, this literal kick up the arse for some reason seems to have added a new dimension to the performance. The next night something clicked. The characters were alive and mad and I did the best performance ever. The audience loved it. Standing ovations!
So I thank you, my Antipodean "sole" brother. Your act of selfless booty has helped me see the light from a place where it normally doesn't shine.
• Russell McGilton's show, Bombay to Beijing by Bicycle, is at the Gilded Balloon Teviot until 24 August, today 5pm.
