THESE highlights only touch upon the BBC's terrestrial coverage. Check your TV listings for the vast amount of red-button coverage available. They're also hosting hour upon hour of Olympic action across BBC3, BBC Radio 5 Live and BBC 5 Live Sports Extra. Readers with no interest in sport are advised to lock themselves in an airing cupboard for the next two weeks…
FRIDAY 8 AUGUST
BBC1, 12:45pm – 4:45pm
The 29th Olympiad kicks off with a presumably spectacular opening ceremony, the details of which are a closely guarded secret. The theme is the number eight, which makes it sound like a lavishly exp
ensive episode of Sesame Street.
SATURDAY 9
BBC1, 6am – 4:30pm
The Olympic Breakfast slot, presented live from Beijing by the electrifying pairing of Adrian Chiles and Hazel Irvine, starts at this time every day. This morning members of the British men's rowing squad are in action. At 3pm, British teenager Louis Smith begins his campaign in the gymnastic qualifying heats. Also the start of the badminton rounds. It's all very quiet, basically.
SUNDAY 10
BBC2, 11am – 5:30pm
Hours of swimming to wade through, including the men's 4x100 freestyle, and the women's 100m breaststroke heats. Great Britain take on Germany in the women's hockey competition at 2:30pm, while at 4:10pm our women's team attempt to qualify for Wednesday's gymnastics final.
MONDAY 11
BBC1, 12:50am – 9am
The British men's hockey team take on Pakistan at 5:20am. At 7:30am, viewers who enjoyed the recent documentary series Olympic Dreams can witness Tom Daley, 14, in the men's synchro diving event.
TUESDAY 12
BBC1, 9am – 5:15pm
More boating than you can shake an oar at. British contender Campbell Walsh competes in the men's C1 and K1 canoeing slalom. The rowing regatta punts off, while in sailing it's the start of the men's and women's laser competitions (sadly, this doesn't mean they fire at each other with space-age guns). The show-jumping finals of the individual and team equestrian competitions begin at 12:45pm.
WEDNESDAY 13
BBC1, 9am – 5:15pm
The men's cycling time trial will rip through the streets of Beijing on a thigh-stretching 46.8km course. In boxing, from 12:45pm, British super-heavyweight David Price attempts to fight his way into the quarter-finals. You should try reading some of these announcements in the voice of Alan Partridge. It's very satisfying.
THURSDAY 14
BBC1, 9am – 5:15pm
British canoeist Fiona Pennie takes part in the slalom this morning. Unfortunately, owing to recent events in court, canoeing superstar John Darwin will be unable to participate in the men's event. You can also choose from an array of judo, sailing, swimming and women's archery. From 1:45pm it's the badminton mixed doubles quarter-finals, featuring British shuttlecock thwackers Gail Emms and Nathan Robertson, as well as the quarter-finals of the men's and women's tennis singles.
FRIDAY 15
BBC1, 1:50am – 5:15pm
The athletics tournaments finally get underway. Events include the first-round heats of the men's 100m and women's 800m, and the heptathlon 100m hurdles and high jump. It's the men's 100m at 12:45pm and 400m hurdles at 2:55pm. Probably the biggest event of the day, though, is the final of the women's 10,000m at 3:45pm. If watching people fitter than you'll ever be jumping over things isn't your bag, then maybe you could join the swimming from 3am, where you'll find both the men's 200m backstroke final and the 200m individual medley final.
SATURDAY 16
BBC1, 1:50am – 6am
Athletes who look as though they're desperately trying to find a loo as quickly as possible can be witnessed during the men's 200km walk at 2am. Ace British heptathlete Kelly Sotherton takes part in the long jump at 2:20am on this, the final day of the heptathlon. British world champion Christine Ohurogu will be racing to retain her title in the women's 100m and 400m, at 3:50am and 5:10am respectively.
SUNDAY 17
BBC1, 6am – 4:30pm
British sailing maestro Ben Ainslie attempts to win his third successive gold medal in the regatta, while the British women's yngling crew race for glory in what the International Yngling Society describes as an "agreeable cross between a planing dinghy and a keelboat". The rowing finals begin at 9:30am, with Steve Williams aiming to retain his Olympic crown in the men's four. It's also the final of the tennis men's singles and women's doubles competitions from 4pm on BBC2. Andy Murray will hopefully be competing in one of these matches.
MONDAY 18
BBC1, 1:50am – 5:10pm
In athletics, between 1:50am and 3am, Chinese sporting hero Liu Xiang competes in the sprint hurdles heats. From 12:50pm, highlights include the men's long jump final, the women's 800m final, and the men's 400m hurdles final. Meanwhile, between 3pm and 5:10pm, China will no doubt slaughter their opponents during the first ever men's team table-tennis competition.
TUESDAY 19
BBC1, 6am – 5:10pm
A big day for cycling fans, with the unstoppable Bradley Wiggins displaying his versatility alongside Tour de France multiple stage winner Mark Cavendish in the men's Madison final at 10:30am. Britain's three-time world champion Victoria Pendleton pursues her first Olympic gold medal in the women's sprint finals at 11:25am. In athletics, Christine Ohuruogu might have a tough time against American favourite Sanya Richards in the 400m final.
WEDNESDAY 20
BBC1, times to be confirmed
BMX and long-distance swimming make their Olympic debuts between 3am and 5am. In the former, Crewe teenager Shanaze Reade is expected to take home a gold. Another teen, Michael Harvey, hopes to be the first Brit to win a gold medal in taekwondo when he aims to appear in the quarter and semi-finals between 10am and noon. In athletics, the men's 200m final is at 3:20pm.
THURSDAY 21
BBC1, times to be confirmed
Britain's Phillips Idowu is the favourite in the men's triple jump final at 1:30pm, while new world record holder Dayron Robles of Cuba comes up against Liu Xiang (who'll have the largest nation on earth rooting for him, lucky sod) in the 110m hurdles final at 2:45pm. For those of a more equestrian bent, the individual show-jumping final is at 3:30pm.
FRIDAY 22
BBC1, times to be confirmed
The world's fastest ever 5,000m athletes, Ethiopia's Meseret Defar and Tirunesh Dibaba, present and former world record holders, battle it out in the final of their event scheduled for 12:45pm. The 2008 Olympiad's all-round best male athlete will be crowned at the end of the decathlon, which begins at 2.40pm. The final event of the women's modern pentathlon is the 3,000m cross-country run. (Ladies, the trick is to hide in the bushes for a couple of hours and then jump out at the finishing line when no-one's looking.)
SATURDAY 23
BBC1, times to be confirmed
Exact scheduling details are sketchy for the last two days of the games, but between 12pm and 2:50pm you can enjoy the finals of, among others, the women's high jump, men's javelin, women's 1500m, men's 5000m, women's 4x400m and the men's 4x400m. Some of the more unsung Olympic sports include the women's basketball gold medal match at 3pm, and the women's volleyball gold medal match at 1pm.
SUNDAY 24
It's basically all over, save for the men's marathon at 12:30am, as well as various boxing finals between 6am and 9am. But just as everyone collapses in a vast exhausted heap, the grand closing ceremony – which lasts for a bum-numbing three hours – blares into life at 1pm. At one point, the mayor of Beijing will hand the Olympic flag over to Boris Johnson, thus inaugurating the forthcoming 2012 Olympics. This will hopefully present London's mayor with the opportunity to make a typically appalling social gaffe in front of a worldwide audience of billions.
MURRAY BROTHERSTHAT affable Scot and ambassador for British tennis, Andy Murray, will be part of the British team alongside his brother, Jamie. The tennis tournament takes place from 10 to 17 August, during which Andy will doubtless bring his unmistakable brand of teeth-baring aggression to the 64-man singles event. He'll also team up with his brother, Jamie, for the 32-team doubles competition.
Andy gets his first taste of Olympic action when coverage of the tournament kicks off on BBC2 at 3:30pm next Monday. Coverage of the men's doubles begins at 4pm on BBC1 the next day.
The full article contains 1436 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
