IT'S long been acknowledged that girls typically outdo boys academically at school. But now, it seems, they're leading the way in another field too - bullying.
Forget punching, slapping, hitting and hair-pulling, girls today are using psychological warfare to dominate victims, according to a new study, which reveals how such tactics subtly eat away at the confidence of the victim, leading to difficulties in
building relationships in later life, over-protectiveness of children and loved ones, and even making them more prone to workplace bullying.
Researcher Dr Valerie Besag, who conducted the study for her book Understanding Girls' Friendships, Fights and Feuds, found that the insidious nastiness was rife, and that bullying girls were crueller than boys. It seems the female of the species really is deadlier than the male.
Not that I'm surprised. I never found my school years easy, and, instead of fond memories I have saddening recollections. Like being pushed and punched in primary school aged only six because I had long blonde hair.
And I'll never forget being told at eight years old that I could be friends with the girls if I sat on my own during lunch-time for a whole six weeks. I duly did, desperate to be included, only to be told six weeks to the day later, that I would have to wait longer.
Or being allowed to join in a game of hide and seek in the woods of my primary school, only for no-one to come and find me, as it had been a joke.
Thankfully, high school was better but when my female peers became interested in boys, school life took a cruel turn. I still remember not being invited to certain parties, or being told the wrong time and venue. Or that there was a dress code for the party - and there wasn't.
Despite this I still managed to have a seemingly normal school life. I had great boyfriends. I was known as one of the "popular girls" in my year. My grades were good. But inside I was struggling.
Secret-spreading, confrontations, rumours and lies, I encountered them all. My looks, hair, clothes and figure were criticised, and my confidence slowly ebbed away. And then there was the letter hand-delivered to my house, telling me that I'd never amount to much and that I needed all the good luck possible in life.
So what did I do? I fought back. I became determined that I would be successful, gaining seven Highers and going on to complete a BA honours in Psychology.
I removed myself from those who hurt me, and I became driven and ambitious, and was focused on carving a career for myself.
And I carefully selected a close network of good friends who to this day are loyal, compassionate and caring.
I had the support of my family and my teachers, and I did have a small group of school friends who were fiercely loyal and protective. They all taught me to hold my head up high and continue. They knew - and I knew - I was a good person. I knew who I was and what life I wanted.
I also realised why the girls behaved the way they did. It was for dominance and control, and their bullying was about aiming to suppress the positives. Realising this released me from my misery.
But even then it wasn't until I met life coach Gillian Brown of New-U-Coaching last year that I fully understood what had happened to me.
"You know you were bullied," she said sympathetically. That word had never been used before - and for the first time I did know. I went home and cried out of sadness for those tainted childhood memories, and out of relief that it was over. When I told my mum what Gillian had said, she smiled sadly.
For she had endured the tears throughout my adolescence, the questions of "Why me? What did I do wrong?"
And rather than assume I was an overly sensitive child, she had heard it first-hand from teachers who had watched the subtle torment and isolation.
So when Dr Besag announces that female bullying is more cruel and damaging than the male equivalent, I can easily believe it, and the fact that the Home Office has found around a third of all 12 to 16-year-old girls have been bullied comes as no surprise.
Michele Elliott of bullying charity Kidscape has said: "The impact of verbal bullying and all the emotional baggage that goes with it is much more damaging in the long term than the punch."
And that is very true. For even now I sometimes struggle with relationships. I am desperate to please, and fear rejection. I get overly sensitive, jealous and paranoid. And I struggle to like myself.
But what doesn't break us makes us stronger. In my case I was lucky - I got over it and moved on. I just feel for others who are now going through it.
showden@edinburghnews.com