"HERE'S looking at you, kid." Is there anything more suave and seductive than Bogie mixing Ingrid Bergman a Champagne cocktail (dry Champagne, brandy, a sugar cube and bitters, by the way) as they gaze at each other longingly across the bar in Rick's? Or Marlon Brando and Jean Simmons drinking Milk Punch (brandy, rum, nutmeg and milk) in Havana in Guys and Dolls?
Cocktails and glamour go together like gin and vermouth and any self-respecting grown-up should be able to fix a martini, even if you don't necessarily want to drink it.
In the name of research, I have spent a good deal of time sampling the cockt
ails at some of Edinburgh and Glasgow's finest bars – some fine drinks and some even finer hangovers were experienced.
But whenever I've tried to make my own, it's been more reminiscent of the drinks cabinet disasters I indulged in as a teenager than Hollywood sophistication. People who can mix a decent cocktail have always impressed me, it's like people who can make a soufflé, or their own flaky pastry.
A few years ago, a friend gave me a book called Hollywood Cocktails by Tobias Steed. It's a collection of some of Hollywood's most memorable cocktail moments: Bette Davis quaffing a Gibson (gin and dry vermouth decorated with a pearl onion) in All About Eve, Greta Garbo sipping a black Russian (vodka, Kahlua and a maraschino cherry) in Ninotchka.
The black-and-white photos are moody and atmospheric, the recipes clear and concise. But I have to confess – through no fault of the book, I'm sure – I could never quite create a cocktail that I actually wanted to drink. It's not just about the ingredients, you see, it's about the moves. To really pull it off, you've got to know how to drizzle and drain, when to shake and when to stir.
I'm happy to say there's now a way to improve your cocktail credentials. For £25 a head you can attend a masterclass at The Living Room on Edinburgh's George Street, where you'll learn to make three of the bar's most popular cocktails. The expert staff will demonstrate, then you will be let loose to recreate – including tasting and testing.
You could always sneak off and do it on your own if you want to impress your friends the next time they come round. Or you could all go together so that you can each learn a trademark drink and share the responsibility when it comes to the party.
As Greta Garbo once said: "Gimme a whiskey with ginger ale… and don't be stingy, baby."
• The Living Room's cocktail masterclasses cost £25 per person. For more information call 0131-226 0880.
