Vicky, 27, Eva, 30 Jessica, 38 and Anne, 24 are all from Edinburgh.
JESSICA: Am I clothed or unclothed? What about him? And where is my best friend? First I'm going to find out whether we passed out like drunken fools, or did the nasty like drunke
n idiots. Then I am going to kill myself, because that's totally uncool, against my ethics and disrespectful to my friend. Having said all that, if I have misbehaved, I'm not stupid enough to confess and I'd swear him to secrecy as well.
VICKY: Yeah, you need to establish what happened. Where on Earth was your friend through all of this? Did you just get drunk and fall asleep together? That's actually bad enough, since your friend would probably think it is pretty inappropriate. I suppose regardless of what happened, I just wouldn't tell her.
ANNE: It doesn't matter if you're drunk – if your best friend finds out about this, she'll never speak to you again. If you tell her now she'll never talk to you again and if she finds out later, she'll never talk to you again. Either way, you're screwed. You just have to ask yourself if it's in her best interests for her to know. Is she better off without her horrible husband? If so, best confess and face the music.
EVA: In some ways, he's more to blame than you are. Not only is he cheating on his wife, but he's chosen her best friend to do it with. Don't get me wrong, this is pretty much the worst thing you could do, but if you do decide to confess I think he's the one who should be trying to mop it all up.
JESSICA: Nonsense. You have absolutely no excuse for this. He clearly had a wandering eye, but you had absolutely no reason to do it. Tell her, because otherwise your friendship is a bit of a sham – but be prepared to lose her for good.
ANNE: This is a friendship deal-breaker. And a husband deal-breaker. I might be able to forgive my husband for sleeping with someone else, but not my best friend.
VICKY: I know it sounds a bit heartless, but what she doesn't know won't harm her. What's the point in devastating her by ruining her marriage and her closest friendship? If it was a complete mistake and you both regret it, then it's best to just move on. If you don't tell her, she could have a happy marriage with him and a lifelong friendship with you. Plus, as selfish as it sounds, I wouldn't want to lose my friend and I know if I told her I'd never see her again.
EVA: Yes, and if you tell her and try to patch things up, your friendship will never be the same again. It won't ever be balanced – you'll always feel like you owe her something, like you're sucking up to her. And every time you argued she'd bring it up. There's not exactly a good comeback to "well, at least I didn't sleep with your husband". On the other hand, I suppose you deserve that treatment if you do something so thoroughly diabolical.
VICKY: But if she finds out ten years down the line she'll feel like her marriage and her friendship are a joke. She'll feel humiliated and belittled. As devastated as she'd be if you told her immediately, at least you'd spare her those emotions. And she's better off without any husband who would sleep with her best friend.
JESSICA: And better off without any best friend who would sleep with her husband…
The full article contains 628 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
