WHAT is the deal with photographers? I've done two photo shoots today. The first was for the Leicester Comedy festival who are doing a very noble thing of trying to promote good health, and had a couple of nurses and a doctor giving health checks to comedians here in Edinburgh.
In the end, this merely consisted of me having my blood pressure checked (it was very healthy) and then posing for photographs with the nurses and doctor. I don't mind being told to smile, but the photographer also insisted that the doctor put his st
ethoscope to my head.
Why? What is intrinsically entertaining/photogenic/worthwhile about listening to my head. As a comedian I like to think I have some idea about what's funny and I'm fairly sure that putting a stethoscope to somebody's head is not funny.
Having done that, it was then off to the Signet Library where I was performing the draw for the Co-operative Insurance Scottish League cup. I have no interest in football but the Co-operative sponsors Amnesty, I host the Amnesty gig most years, there's your connection.
After three minutes drawing numbered balls out of a jar it was time to pose for some photos for the press. Me and a couple of footballers holding the cup, all fine. I smiled like I knew who they were, they smiled like they knew who I was. It was clear the photographers were content so far but they still hadn't got the shot they were happy with. I leaned on shoulders, I shook hands, we leaned over the cup. There was something missing. And then the inevitable. "Lads. Can you put the cup on Ed's head?" They dutifully obliged and the snappers went wild.
In opera, it's not over until the fat lady sings. In photography, it's not a press shot until something goes on somebody's head.
On my way home a young Canadian woman asked me the way to Dublin Street. As I was about to point her in the right direction she went, "Wait, you're Ed Byrne. I'm coming to see your show tonight. Do you mind if I get a photo?" I didn't mind at all. In fact I quite enjoyed it. Not just because it was quick, not just because it genuinely seemed like it was quite an exciting thing for her, but because she didn't make me wear her handbag as a f***ing hat.
Ed Byrne - Different Class is at Assembly Hall, 10:20pm, until 25 August 