Janey Godley

Janey Godley: It's not just a boozer, it's a clinic, community centre and more IN SCOTLAND, hundreds of pubs will close down during this recession and it will be a crying shame for certain small areas when their local bars hit the skids.

Janey Godley: So how would you feel if you were being called a Gollyjock? SOON we won't need comedians.

Janey Godley: 'I asked Spielberg to turn the car around and he gave me herpes' SNATCHES of random conversations I have overheard from passing strangers are just awesome. I have been collecting and noting them down for nearly a year now.

Janey Godley: Cutting benefits for drug addicts… is this government on crack? JAMES Purnell, the UK Government's Work and Pensions Secretary, has laid out plans to stop benefits being paid to crack and heroin addicts unless they agree to try to break their habit.

Janey Godley: Even the unwanted Hollywood pups have better teeth than us

Janey Godley: You might not buy it, but I'm crafting a work of fiction in LA

Janey Godley: There was good, bad and ugly in 2008: I'm just glad I survived

Janey Godley: What do you mean I could break a hip – how old do you think I am?

Janey Godley: Give a gift of footwear to the warmongering idiots this year

Janey Godley: Can office parties please stay away from comedy clubs?

Janey Godley: Here are your pillars of society, the unpaid, unsung volunteers

Janey Godley: Alcoholism is the same illness no matter what job you do

Janey Godley: Poor public service can be a real slap in the face

Janey Godley - Spending much less seems like a good idea all round this year

Janey Godley - The grand night out down the club rises again like a phoenix

Janey Godley: We might not say 'I love you', but we're happy to show our hatred

Janey Godley - My embarrassing outburst muffled by the incredible bulk

Janey Godley: Did shape-shifting alien lizards really eat my pension fund?

Janey Godley: Sick of banks wasting your time? Don't join the queue

Janey Godley: Give me a greasy spoon over this pretence of haute cuisine

Janey Godley: Does modern life let us shrug off other people's tragedies?

Janey Godley: You’ll not get fascination from my silken tresses, I’m afraid

Janey Godley - Sometimes it's best when a mother leaves her children

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