AT THE start of every new year we get to look back at what went on throughout the past 12 months; we eschew the good, the bad and the possibly ugly events in our life and hope that the future brings better tidings. For me, 2008 was all about the credit crunch and banks collapsing. I spent sleepless nights worrying about my small, rainy-day savings, but then smiled as I realised they weren't anywhere near Iceland.
The upside to all the scary financial events is that estate agents and folk in control of lending will stop over-inflating the price of properties – about time, too.
The US had a few surprises for us. First, the financial houses of Freddie Mac an
d Fannie Mae went down in flames. I couldn't take the whole affair seriously as every time they mentioned Freddie and Fannie, I pictured a musical-hall duo that dressed in drag and sang bawdy songs.
The wonderful revelation that Barack Obama is to be the next President of the US did cheer me up no end. After all, even a one-legged pickpocket on methadone could do better than George 'The Cowboy' Bush, so that was great news for everyone concerned.
We saw ever-stoical Gordon Brown enjoy an upsurge in popularity after he made a plan to save the world from financial meltdown. I did hope to see him in a Bruce Willis-style vest, bloodied arms crashing through plate-glass windows, or hanging on to the underside of a speeding aeroplane, but I suppose tweed, elbow patches and a leather bag will have to do. Let's just hope he stops that awful mouth-gurning that frightens me whenever I watch him speak.
On a personal note, the last year has been good to me. The Edinburgh Fringe ticket fiasco cast doom on the possibility of any financial success, but luckily my show at the Pleasance Dome sold out well and managed to escape the bulk of the problems from the failing ticket system.
I won the 2008 Nivea Funny Women awards for Best Stand-Up and Best Show, bagged Wag of The Year at the after-dinner speaker competition and won the Fringe Report Best Performer award, so it was a good year for me professionally.
The best thing of the past year was that, despite worrying endlessly about dying at the age of 47, I survived. My own mother died at that age and I had a horrible, impending doom that I too would not make it to 48 – which is a stupid fear, I know, but still very real in my own mind.
On 20 January I shall reach 48 and get to watch Barack Obama's inauguration. Well, here's hoping I get to see it.
Shieldinch, my new homeTOMORROW, I make a guest appearance in the BBC1 drama series River City. The wonderful Johnny Beattie, left, was so encouraging and we even got to ad-lib a bit of the dialogue, which was awesome as he is a great comic and had no problem feeding me lines. The stage set for River City is absolutely stunning and is a feat of wonder to see close up. It is hard to believe that people don't live in those tenements and wee houses surrounding the fictitious Shieldinch.
The team at River City are a great bunch and the hard work that goes into making the show made me really appreciate the actors and camera crew. Stand-up comedy is a piece of nonsense in comparison. Learning all those lines and places to stand was really tough work. I now have a deep respect for TV actors and can't wait for my next TV job.
I'd like to see a man go to work every night with mastitisAFTER much waiting and worrying, I finally got a doctor's appointment about my scary breast pain. Turns out that, for the past month, I have had mastitis, which was the most evil pain I have suffered since childbirth. Despite the awful, nasty, sharp pains, I worked almost every night of December doing comedy. We women are strong creatures. Husband snorted when I mentioned that and I reminded him that, when I gave birth, I was back at work two days later. This is a man who takes six weeks to recover from the cold.
I am woman – hear me roar!
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