A group of soldiers who had just joined the Army were in their new barracks when the duty officer came in to see them.
He approached one new recruit and asked: "Comfy here?"
"Naw," the lad replied. "Ah come fae Bo'ness."
Jim L Davidson's MainsA man looking for a job decided to apply to the local zoo. As it happened, its star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and the keepers had preserved his hide. They tell the man that they'll pay him if he dresses up in the skin and pretends to be the gorilla to keep the crowds happy. The man reluctantly accepts, puts on the skin and goes out into the cage, to cheers from the crowd. After a while he starts really putting on a show, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt he loses his balance and crashes through the safety netting, landing in the lion's cage. Lying there terrified, he starts screaming: "Help, Help!" The lion races over, pounces on him and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"
Emma Bailey, East Lothian• If you have a joke you would like to share with us e-mail:
letters_en@edinburgh news.com
The full article contains 207 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.