One of the most cackhanded, studio-enforced happy endings ever. America has been entirely taken over by aliens! Nicole Kidman is the only human left alive! No wait, everything's fine after all. Phew.
2 Planet of the Apes (2001)
The Tim Burton one, that is. The original had a famous twist, so Burton clearly felt the need to have a twist too. Unfortunately his twist makes no sense whatsoever.
3 Training Day (2001)A brilliant, complex thriller about a veteran LA detective clashing with a rookie cop over the difficult question of whether you need to bend the rules to bring bad guys to justice. Until the film loses its nerve and turns into a straightforward hero vs villain thriller instead.
4 War of the Worlds (2005) In a sense, it's a relief that Tom Cruise's daft son managed to survive running straight towards the rampaging alien war machines and then walk all the way to his mum's house unscathed. HOW?
5 Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest (2006)After two hours of this distinctly underwhelming sequel, hope emerges following hints that an exciting twist is about to occur, a dramatic and unexpected entrance by … oh, it's just Geoffrey Rush again.
6 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)A spaceship. That's right, a spaceship. Nuff said.
7 An Inconvenient Truth (2006) A stirring, pep talk from Al Gore about the environmental peril facing our world, and then … a song by Melissa Etheridge. "I need to waaake up," she warbles. No, you need to shut up.
8 The Nines (2007)What a fascinating, ambiguous, multi-layered mysterious, David Lynch-like film. And what an utterly dim-witted explanation at the end. Press the stop button ten minutes beforehand to preserve mystery.
9 The Return of the King (2003)Oh for God's sake. How many times does everyone need to say goodbye?
10 The Dark Knight (2008) It may be a visually stunning, grown-up morality tale, with an unarguably terrific performance by Heath Ledger, but its final half hour is a dog's breakfast. What the hell is going on? Why so many endings?
The full article contains 370 words and appears in The Scotsman newspaper.
