Scotland on Thursday

WELCOME to today's tasty news morsels, including SPORT, FASHION, TELEVISION, BUSINESS and the INTERNET.

RED TOP REVIEW

I've got a clue under my skin

Got a sore head this morning? However good a night you had it'll be nothing compared with Donovan McGowan, who had two months of pain after being hit by a car

. But, The Sun reports, the 18-year-old's agony wasn't down to the accident, but because medics at the Southern General Hospital in Glasgow left a four-inch piece of metal used for swabbing injuries under his scalp. Deep inside (the paper, not Donovan's head) is the UK version of The Sun's splash - a claim by army chief General Sir Richard Dannatt that soldiers are paid less than traffic wardens.

Gazza gets help from Sheryl

The Mirror says troubled former footballer Paul Gascoigne is getting help from an unlikely source. Ex-wife Sheryl, who divorced the one-time Rangers player after he hit her, is at Gazza's bedside as he battles his "booze-fuelled mental health problems".

The "cancer chancer"

The Daily Record has a second go at its exclusive on "cancer chancer" Anne Marie McKeown, whose fiancé claims she pretended she was ill to get money out of him. Inside, the paper reports that Peter Howson has painted bad boy muso Pete Docherty as a dead man to convince him to change his drug-taking ways. Nothing to do with selling pictures at your new exhibition, then, Peter.

BUSINESS

By Nathalie Thomas

Bellway announces gloomy housebuilding figures

Housebuilder Bellway today added to the UK property sector's woes, announcing a 31% drop in the number of house reservations compared with last year.

The group has revised its sales predictions for 2008 downwards and now expects a 10-15% drop in the number of homes sold compared with a more optimistic 5-10% prediction earlier this year.

Bellway's order book now stands at £706m, down from £845m the previous year. The gloomy news coincided with new figures from the Halifax this morning which showed UK house prices fell 2.4% between April and May. Overall, prices are 3.8% lower than this time last year.

TELEVISION

By Fiona Leith

House of horrors

It's back, for a ninth series. Eight single beds for 16 contestants, and all you have to do is sit and wait for the chaos to ensue. Don't worry, it'll all have kicked off by the first ad break. According to the 'leaked' news ahead of the show, one housemate is a stand-up comedian, one a DJ, one a Buddhist, one a Muslim and the oldest participant is 42. Just your average household, then? Guess it's something to do if it rains until August. Or you could always stick pins in your eyes instead.

• Big Brother Launch Show, Channel 4. 9pm.

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Eat, drink and make a fuss

If you prefer to enjoy your nosh than analyse it, then Come Dine With Me is your televisual feeder. The show may eschew the heady ideas of food porn for a straight down the-line nosey neighbours-style approach to cooking and dining, but it works. We're in Glasgow this evening, as a 10-course banquet becomes the star of the show, but for all the wrong reasons.

• Come Dine with Me, Channel 4, 8pm

Put your money where your mouth is

The Tonight reporters put the Government's idea to offer cash for weight loss to the test with a group of bingo employees. The results will be shown on Friday, although we assume they get more than two days to shift the pounds in return for pounds. The Fat Bribe: Tonight, ITV, 7.30pm

FASHION

By Kayt Turner

Cultural adjustment

Good to see that Nancy Dell'Olio has finally embraced the British dress-down culture. Well, for her the foot-wide corsage and thigh grazing frock ARE dress down.

Electric frock treatment

Tracey Emin has curated a room at the Summer Exhibition in London and she says she went all out to shock. We take it she's going to stand in there wearing that dress then.

Cartoon girls

Sisters, sisters, there were never such devoted sisters (in-law). Determined not to be outdone by Lily's reverse Liquorice Allsort look, Jaime Winstone has gone for the most humongous Minnie Mouse bow that the Disney Store had on offer

SPORT

By Graham Bean

Paterson to hit Scottish caps record

Chris Paterson will equal the Scotland caps record against Argentina on Saturday night. Paterson, who is expected to be named full-back for the first test in Rosario, will win his 87th cap, drawing him level with Scott Murray. With Murray missing the tour, Paterson can go on to beat the record in the second test the following Saturday.

West Brom to swoop on Rangers' Thomson

In football, West Bromwich Albion are reported to be considering a £4m move for Rangers midfielder Kevin Thomson. If a deal is done it would see Thomson linking up again with Tony Mowbray, his former manager at Hibs.

England 'broke Fifa rules' in Trinidad game

Fifa is threatening to scrub England's 3-0 win over Trinidad and Tobago from the record books because Fabio Capello's team made seven substitutions during the game in Port of Spain on Sunday. Fifa rules permit only six. Dean Ashton, Joe Hart, Phil Jagielka and Stephen Warnock all made their first appearances for England in the match, but their caps could be annulled.

INTERNET

Website of the day: www.urbandictionary.com

Do you think that latest Indiana Jones film has 'nuked the fridge'? Are you currently involved in 'textual relations'? Or are you a victim of UDIs?. Get down with the kids and find out what these baffling phrases mean in this handy 21st century lexicon.