Zany? Run away!

It's nearly the middle of July. Have you booked your Fringe tickets yet? ANDREW EATON offers a few 'expert' tips

RIGHT NOW, MANY OF YOU ARE no doubt flicking through the Edinburgh Fringe programme, wondering what to see this year. Here are some words of advice from an experienced arts journalist.

1. Ignore all the press quotes in the Fringe entries. They are quite possibly made up. Yes, really. In 2006, notoriously, comedian David McSavage's Fringe brochure entry contained the quote "'The best show I've seen on the Fringe ... and that includes dance and theatre,' Kate Copstick, The Scotsman." What Kate's (withering, one star) review actually said was, "I am rarely moved to heckle, but, had I not been reviewing, I would have dragged him off the stage myself." So McSavage simply invented one. Since the Fringe office is too busy to check the veracity of press quotes, the fake one got published. To be fair, for an entirely made-up quote to appear in the Fringe programme is quite rare, but flagrantly misrepresentative ones crop up with alarming frequency. You have been warned.

2. Be equally wary of hyperbole. "International hit" can sometimes mean "it's been performed in more than one country, to more than one person". "Unconventional" or "with a twist" sometimes just means it has swearing or clowns in it. "Improvised" is often just another word for "shambolic". Oh, and avoid anything that describes itself as "zany" or "wacky". This tends to be Fringe code either for "not even a tiny bit funny" or "performed by overenthusiastic students". In either case, approach with caution.

3. "So," I hear you say, "if I can't trust the press quotes and I can't trust the performers' own descriptions, who can I trust? And don't say read The Scotsman's daily Festival guide, which is packed full of reviews and starts on 2 August, because that's just a shameless plug for your newspaper, and anyway I need information I can use now."

OK, fair enough. In that case...

4. Look for free stuff. The Free Fringe has expanded significantly this year, and the quality is higher than you might assume of free shows – and if it isn't, you can simply leave. You'll find exhaustive lists at www.freefringe.org.uk (Peter Buckley Hill's Free Fringe) and at www.freefestival.co.uk (the Laughing Horse Free Fringe).

5. Ignore the ads. If a show has a big ad in the Fringe programme, it doesn't mean it's a better show, it just means it spent some money. Chances are you'll have a more "Fringe" experience elsewhere.

6. In general, avoid shows which make a big thing out of a celebrity doing something they've not done before. The novelty value will wear off after a few minutes, after which it's just someone you recognise doing something badly. You'd be as well off watching a member of your family sing karaoke. And you'll see celebs in the street, anyway. Loads. Trust me.

7. Use the map. Chances are there's a Fringe venue right next to where you're staying/where you live. So you could just go to all the shows there. Lazy? No, practical. When else could you do that?