IF you ever get the chance, pop around to the stage door of any theatre after a performance and watch the autograph hunters. Not the fans who want their programmes signed, but the professional collectors who come armed with dozens of pictures, books and old newspaper cuttings.
They're easy to spot, they usually look more like stalkers than fans.
Recently I watched just such a pair work as a production line. Hunter No 1 produced the picture to be signed, the star signed it, handed it to Hunter No 2 who filed it away as H
unter No 1 produced the next item from a bottomless plastic bag. This went on for a good ten minutes. You can bet most of the items were on e-bay within the hour.
That pair will have their work cut out at the King's over the next couple of months. How many stars can you cram into one season seems to have been the challenge issued to the Leven Street theatre, as never before have so many familiar faces taken to its stage in such a short period of time.
Judging by a number of those shows, it's safe to say that old TV stars never die, they just go to work for theatrical impresario Bill Kenwright. Six of them can be found in his production of Absurd Person Singular at the King's, from Monday.
First there's Sara Crowe . . . lovely. Yes, the star of the Philadelphia adverts of the 90s teams up with Matthew Cottle of cult 90s comedy Game On and the wonderfully named Honeysuckle Weeks, star of Foyle's War.
They're joined by Marc Bannerman, alias EastEnders Gianni Di Marco, and Deborah Grant from Bergerac . . . no, never heard of her either.
Completing the line up is David Griffin, alias Emmet, the brother of Hyacinth's long suffering neighbour in Keeping Up Appearances – I thought he was dead.
A week later Calendar Girls sashays into town with more flesh on show than Michelle McManus at a beach party and another all-star line-up. Oxo mum Lynda Bellingham, one-time female sleuth Patricia Hodge and Brigit Forsyth (remember Thelma in The Likely Lads) are one half of a famous sextet who get their kit off in the tale of fund-raising Yorkshire WI members.
Completing the line up are the ever popular Elaine C Smith, Sian Phillips (one-time wife of hell-raiser Peter O'Toole) and the very loud Dancing On Ice star Gaynor Faye – I once sat behind her at a Fringe show . . . everyone knew she was in.
The star count drops at the end of October when All Quiet On The Western Front becomes a star vehicle for James Alexandrou, an actor we've watched growing up before our very eyes as EastEnders' Martin Fowler.
Now, there was a time when Susannah York would have topped any bill. No longer. In Wuthering Heights (November 4-8) she takes second place to Amanda Ryan, psycho-cop Sgt Carrie Rogers in Shameless.
And remember what I said about old actors and Bill Kenwright?
Well how about this for the ultimate where-are-they-now cast: Robin of Sherwood Michael Praed, Drop The Dead Donkey's Robert Duncan and sitcom star and dad of Fern, Tony Britton – who can forget Don't Wait Up and Robin's Nest?
All appear in An Ideal Husband, which also promises a battle of the super-vamps, both Dynasty's Kate O'Mara and Carry On legend Fenella Fielding also star.
TV heaven (or is that hell) is coming to the King's – get those autograph books ready.
The full article contains 599 words and appears in Edinburgh Evening News newspaper.
