THEY CALL THE BLACK Isle haunting, and nowhere does this description appear more apt than in the dead of night in Tulloch Castle Hotel.
But this is not to condemn it. Indeed, the hotel, 12 miles north of Inverness, is happy to trade on its reputation for guests of the spectral sort, so no point phoning reception to complain about things that go bump in the night. It is part of the at
traction. Only ghost-busters are unlikely to find a warm welcome here.
Although the hotel's primary function is to keep those guests from the corporeal world in the comfort one expects from a four-star Highland hotel, it would be foolish not to take advantage of the impressive history held within its ancient walls. The castle, which overlooks the old market town of Dingwall, dates from the 12th century and was once the seat of the Davidson clan.
A ghost tour can be requested and is recommended – you might as well know all about whom you might be sharing a room with later in the evening, and the (usually grisly) reason they cannot rest in peace. One recent guest made the local papers after he fled the hotel. Having heard a knock at his door in the wee sma' hours, he opened it to find, rather alarmingly, a Victorian-era family standing in the corridor. Unsurprisingly, he didn't stick around for the introductions.
The star of the show is undoubtedly the Green Lady, a young girl said to stalk the corridors. A painting of her hangs in the Grand Hall, a beautiful large banquet room with good enough acoustics to act as venue for the STV music series Ceol Aig a Chaisteal. But the picture hanging above the fireplace dates from before she stumbled in on her father – the fourth Laird of Tulloch, Duncan Davidson – in amorous congress with a maid. She fled in horror, stumbled down some stairs and broke her neck. The Laird – or the Stag as he was known in recognition of his prolific adventures with local women – was sent away in disgrace and has been very obviously blacked out of the picture, something that lends it yet more charge.
The tour is carried out in a breezy enough manner, and we were fortunate to have the indomitable Anne MacDonald, the hotel manager, for company. What she doesn't know about Tulloch Castle's history is not worth knowing, and the Green Lady must bow to her when it comes to ruling the roost. Her infectious enthusiasm and joie de vivre make it hard to take the spooks seriously. Indeed, on an afternoon when Dingwall is stretched out below in the watery, wintery light, and the fire in the hall burns ferociously, the only spirits worth considering are those that come in bottles.
These can be found in impressive quantity in – you guessed it – the Green Lady Lounge. Tulloch Castle Hotel is the last word in cosiness, but manages to avoid lapsing into couthiness. Even the loop tape of Runrig is forgivable when the hospitality is this good.
The tartan sashes worn by the waitresses are something else that shouldn't work, yet do. Nothing is too much trouble, and if your idea of Highland hotels has been shaped by the Little Britain sketch, where weird is the watch-word, then let those at Tulloch disabuse you of the notion that everyone wanders around in tweed while speaking in riddles and playing a flute-like instrument.
On one of the nights we are assigned a table in the Laird's lug, a small cavity in the dining room that was designed for small boys to eavesdrop on behalf of the Laird. Frighteningly – for them, not us – this was not a temporary arrangement. The unfortunate youth would effectively live in this cubby-hole, such was the need for the laird to be assured that no plots were being hatched against him. These days the spy chamber has been opened up and dinner can be taken at the two-person table, an experience that is both romantic and eerie.
The corporate pound the hotel must now chase does rob it of some of its mystery. It's hard to let yourself be completely swept up in ancient myths and folklore when representatives from SEPA are discussing Scottish pollutant release inventories in the room next door. Yet when night falls and the doors rattle, it's a major job to keep your wits in order. The atmosphere and culinary delights are worth these blood-chilling moments though as, indeed, is the surrounding area. Cromarty is an enchanting part of the world, and even in November offers a host of things to do and places to visit. The seals that flop across rocks in the Firth in the early afternoon are a huge hazard for motorists who cannot resist a look. And then there is Portmahomack, the gorgeous fishing village that is home to an acclaimed restaurant in the Oystercatcher and also shelters a pop star in Martin Stephenson, once of fine 1980s student combo The Daintees.
But the jewel in the crown is the Tulloch Castle Hotel. The setting, on the brow of a hill overlooking Dingwall, is magnificent and the castle, although perhaps not taking the fairy-tale form of others such as at Glamis and Dunrobin, sits grandly enough. Once a hospital for war veterans, it has also seen life as a school boarding house. Now, however, it is keen to return to its former glories and offer some idea of how it might have been to live like a laird, if perhaps not one as dissolute as the aforementioned Duncan.
With secret passageways, ghosts and carpets given the White House's seal of approval – the same heraldry happens to adorn the floor in the Oval Office, and Bill Clinton gave his personal blessing to the reproduction – there is little not to like about the Tulloch. Although we saw no ghosts on our visit, there was a lights-suddenly-going-off scenario as we sat watching television. Even the terror seems of a classic standard here.
But the next day always promises a soothing of the soul, and the process begins over breakfast, where you can choose from seven different types of home-made marmalade and jam. The products are all sourced locally, with the conserve arriving from Aberdeenshire. Dinner, too, is fit for a laird, where hearty helpings are served, though not at the expense of taste. Being doomed to roam within these walls for eternity actually begins to sound rather attractive. smFactfile dingwall
How to get there Tulloch Castle Hotel is just a few minutes from the centre of Dingwall. If arriving from the south, take the A9 past the Tore roundabout and follow signs to Dingwall. From the north follow the signs to Dingwall when you come off the A9 at the roundabout just before the Cromarty Bridge.
WHERE TO STAYAt Tulloch Castle Hotel, Tulloch Castle Drive, Dingwall a standard double room starts from £155 per night with full Highland breakfast included. A four-poster suite starts from £195. Tel: 01349 861325 or visit
www.tullochcastle.co.ukAND THERE'S MORESkiing, curling and sea, loch and river fishing are all possible in the area, with Royal Dornoch golf club also a short drive away.
The Oystercatcher restaurant, Main Street, Portmahomack. Tel: 01862 871560 or visit
www.the-oystercatcher.co.uk