SATURDAY in downtown Soufrière is wash day. All along the rocks, spray from the sea catching the tropical breeze, the neatest washing lines in Christendom flap, colour-co-ordinated and pegged out in order of size; bright yellow school shirts taking p
ride of place alongside Manchester United football tops. It seems women the world over appreciate the aesthetic value of a well-hung line.
The hour-long walk from Jalousie Plantation to the nearest town took us along a potholed dirt track lined with breadfruit, papaya and mango trees, while below us expensive-looking yachts bobbed in the cobalt blue sea and locals enjoyed their day off with picnics on the beach.
Soufrière itself is part-shanty town, part-pretty slice of Caribbean life, a mix of pastel-painted window shutters, filigreed balconies and shacks with tin roofs. Out in the street, women scrub their smalls at standpipes, reggae echoing from beat boxes along the bay. The market is in full swing as cool little kids in shorts and sporting dreadlocks throw themselves from the pier to dive for coins tossed from tourist catamarans.
The previous two days were a mixture of sunshine and showers – albeit in temperatures of 27ûC – but now it's wall-to-wall sunshine, just one or two cotton wool clouds drifting lazily across an otherwise clear blue sky. An al fresco lunch on the seafront consists of plantain wrapped in bacon followed by mahi-mahi – the ubiquitous island fish – washed down with a dose of the local rum. Well, we'll need our strength for the walk back to base – up a series of steep, hairpin bends that would give any Bond villain a run for their Maserati.
After the thigh-busting climb, however, comes the reward, as the descent into Val des Pitons boasts a view to take your breath away. Oprah Winfrey says visiting here is one of the five things you must do before you die.
Nestled between two towering, conical hills – Petit Piton and Gros Piton (but don't let the names mislead you: the little one is much tougher to climb) – it is well worthy of its Unesco World Heritage Site status. Far below us in the bay, a tiny crescent of white sand beckons: Forbidden Beach.
This is Jalousie Plantation, former estate of Colin Tennant, Lord Glenconner, once owned by the Hilton group and now run by a local company, SunSwept Resorts. Set in 192 acres of rainforest, it is the ultimate in colonial chic – all ceiling fans, cane furniture and gently waving palms. Its aristocratic one-time owner bought the land when this part of the island could only be reached by canoe. These days, the road network has improved enormously but he has found it hard to turn his back on the place. And who can blame him? Tennant still lives nearby, in a grand house up the hill, and pops in for breakfast occasionally (look out for him, dressed all in white and swithering over the watermelon).
Single-storey villas are scattered up the hillside, reached on foot (if you're feeling fit) or by shuttle buses that are on call 24/7. Private terraces with plunge pools provide a discreet spot for sunbathing – or cooling down when the heat gets too much.
But, since we're in one of the most stunning spots in the world, it would be a shame to spend our seven days lying face-down, basting on the beach smothered in factor 30. So one day we wake early to walk to the nearby sulphur springs. We know we're getting close when the eggy whiff reaches our nostrils and we press on to what is billed as the Caribbean's only drive-in volcano, where pools and craters bubble and belch out steam amid a dramatic rocky moonscape. We brave the smell to bathe in the muddy, mineral-laden waters; locals claim they have remarkable health benefits for eczema and other skin conditions but I'm more interested in the theory that one dip makes you ten years younger.
The following day we are left bar-bound by unseasonal tropical rain – the St Lucians call it liquid sunshine – but manage to fill our day with a game of Scrabble (I won), a spot of table tennis (he won) and the big-screen action of the Masters golf tournament (Immelman won).
Another day, another dip, this time in the Piton Falls. A walk through lush rainforest leads to a rocky pool, above which warm water tumbles from 30 feet overhead, crashing on to our shoulders the way no power shower ever could. Later, we go snorkelling and find ourselves surrounded by bright yellow-and-black angel fish darting around our legs, attracted, it seems, by the ripe banana another enterprising swimmer smuggled out from the breakfast buffet.
We take kayaks out for a spin around the bay, learn to sail a catamaran, have a tennis lesson and whack some balls about a rather disappointing golf course. The three holes are poorly maintained – in fact, we can't even find the second – but they end up being perfect for my hacking technique. Then, after so much exertion, we feel justified chilling out with a gloriously intense massage à deux, performed outdoors in a palm-covered cabana, gazing down into the valley with the mellow sound of the evening's entertainment drifting up from the beach bar.
As the sun goes down – early in this part of the world (around 6.30pm) – it's daiquiri time and we head back down the hill in the direction of the Verandah terrace bar. The cicadas are already limbering up and fireflies dart between the ginger lilies and mimosa, beckoning their loved ones out to play. Unfortunately, the same lightning beetles keep us awake half the night and we end up smashing them to a flickering death with our airport paperbacks. So much for romance.
Jalousie is in the midst of an ambitious, multi-million-dollar modernisation programme. Villas are being upgraded and redesigned in a chic, contemporary style, complete with clean, white interiors and roll-top baths. A new spa will be added, along with an infinity pool, all with little or no disruption to current guests. So as we prepare to leave our little slice of paradise behind, there is at least an excuse to return one day to inspect the results. Well, it would be rude not to.
FACT FILE: ST LUCIAJalousie Plantation, Soufrière, St Lucia (+44 0845 217 7846,
www.thejalousieplantation.com). A seven-night all-inclusive stay at the Jalousie costs from £1,229 per adult, including flights, and can be booked through Virgin Holidays (
www.virginholidays.com). For all holidays between April 29 and December 21, 2008, the hotel has the following special offers: stay for seven nights and pay for five; stay for nine and pay for seven; or stay for 14 and pay for 11. The official currency is the Eastern Caribbean dollar but the US dollar is widely accepted.
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