Come on, just hit it with a chisel!

TV review

The Dinosaur Mummy, Channel 4

Admin, BBC3

ANY TV programme that begins by saying "this is something you've never seen before" had better be pretty damn impressive. Unfortunately, I couldn't get particularly excited about "the find of the century" aka The Dinosaur Mummy, principally because the creature remained encased in plaster and rock throughout. Perhaps I'm naïve, but from the title I was hoping to see a well-preserved dinosaur, the likes of which no man has ever witnessed. Instead I got a two-tonne meringue.

The discovery in North Dakota of this 67 million-year-old Hadrosaur (dubbed "the cow of the Cretaceous" by palaeontologists) was indeed remarkable, being that it is one of only a handful of preserved dinosaurs ever unearthed. With its bones, scales, flesh and inner organs all intact, scientists were understandably excited about the unanswered questions it could solve. Without existing skin samples, it's impossible to have an accurate idea of what these animals actually looked like. Without muscle, nobody has any idea of how fast they moved.

The scientists from the University of Manchester in charge of analysing the creature discovered that the carcass was covered in scales of different sizes, suggesting that the Hadrosaur was striped, two-toned or possibly even multi-coloured. They also worked out that this "cow" could move a lot quicker than the average heifer.

But those were the only real points of interest. Seeing as DNA wouldn't still exist in something as old as a dinosaur, the only hope the boffins had of cracking its code was by finding a protein molecule in its remains. Unfortunately, they couldn't find any.

But chief scientist Phil Manning wasn't going to let a little thing like interminable frustration get him down: "Never give up when you're looking for something as elusive as a protein molecule in a dinosaur which is over 65 million years old." Strangely enough, I have that same homily worked in macramé above my desk.

Further disappointment (for scientist and viewer) came with the discovery that the rock in which the dinosaur was encased was so dense that it couldn't be penetrated by even the most powerful X-ray machines. So apart from a blurry image of the separated tail, we never got to see anything more than a small exposed glimpse of the animal trapped inside. Instead, this Equinox special essentially boiled down to 60 minutes of scientists squinting, which no amount of repetitive CG footage of the Hadrosaur in action could conceal.

Glory be – it's another comedy pilot from BBC3. Set in a law firm staffed by incompetents, Admin almost wears its unoriginality as a badge of pride. The characters are all shameful stereotypes: the thick Scouser, the middle-aged man-eater, the hideously annoying prat sucking up to the boss, and the "loveable Everyman" with a crush on one of his workmates. It just goes to remind you of how magnificent The Office was by comparison.

The only appropriate response to the jokes – for example, a whiteboard diagram which hilariously resembled a penis – is "good God". If nothing else, Admin does at least raise several pertinent questions – such as: how does dross like this get made in the first place? Surely no-one in their right mind would commission this for a series? And if so, what on Earth is wrong with the people running BBC3?

It's becoming increasingly obvious that all the talented new comedy writers are imprisoned in a box somewhere. For God's sake, someone set them free.